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A lighter subject!

Posted on Feb 9th, 2006 by David : Explorer David

Blogging is too much fun!
Here at zaadz, I'm finding that we have some of the most interesting, funny, and thought provoking content on the web (in my humble opinion anyway). Which comes from an incredible group of people. Yes you! It excites me to explore the site and read the new stuff that emerges day to day. What a place!

Looking back at my posts though, I realize that I have been using blogs to focus mainly on my "serious" side. Sometimes I need a break from that. So I thought that this would be the perfect opportunity to share some stuff that makes me laugh.
Kids really crack me up. Their comments are funny yet thought provoking.
Woops, there I go agian!
Anyway, enjoy the break.

Altered Proverbs

A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb, and asked them to come up with the rest.

As you shall make your bed so.... shall you mess it up.
Better be safe than.... punch a 5th grader.
Strike while the.... bug is close.
Its always darkest before.... daylight savings time
You can lead a horse to water but.... how?
Don't bite the hand that..... looks dirty.
A miss is as good as a....Mr.
You can't teach an old dog new..... math.
If you lie down with the dogs..... you'll stink in the morning.
The pen is mightier than the...pigs
An idle mind is..... the best way to relax.
Where there's smoke, there's....pollution.
Happy the bride who.... gets all the presents.
A penny saved is.....not much.
Two's company, three's..... the musketeers.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and...you have to blow your nose.
Children should be seen and not.....spanked or grounded.
When the blind leadeth the blind......get out of the way.

 

Questions about love, marriage and sex were posed to kids ages 5 to 10. Their answers below are enlightening:

WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED??
"Eighty-four! Because at that age, you don't have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom." (Judy,8)

"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife!" (Tom,5)

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE??
"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." (Mike, 10)

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE??
"You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding." (Jim, 10)

"Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours." (Kally, 9)

THE GREAT DEBATE: IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED??
"It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them!" (Lynette, 9)

"It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble." (Kenny, 7)

CONCERNING WHY LOVE HAPPENS BETWEEN TWO PARTICULAR PEOPLE
"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular." (Jan, 9)

"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." (Harlen, 8)

ON WHAT FALLING IN LOVE IS LIKE
"Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." (Roger, 9)

"If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." (Leo, 7)

ON THE ROLE OF GOOD LOOKS IN LOVE
"If you want to be loved by somebody who isn't already in your family, it doesn't hurt to be beautiful." (Jeanne, 8)

"It isn't always just how you look. Look at me. I'm handsome like anything and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet." (Gary, 7)

"Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time." (Christine, 9)

CONFIDENTIAL OPINIONS ABOUT LOVE
"I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't happen when 'The Simpsons' is on television." (Anita, 6)

"Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I have been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me." (Bobby, 8)

"I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough." (Regina, 10)

THE PERSONAL QUALITIES NECESSARY TO BE A GOOD LOVER
"One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills." (Ava, 8)

SOME SUREFIRE WAYS TO MAKE A PERSON FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU
"Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores." (Del, 6)

"Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love." (Alonzo, 9)

"One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me." (Bart, 9)

HOW CAN YOU TELL IF TWO ADULTS EATING DINNER AT A RESTAURANT ARE IN LOVE?
"Just see if the man picks up the check. That's how you can tell if he's in love." (John, 9)

"Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food." (Brad, 8)

"It's love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like to order those because it's just like how their hearts are...on fire." (Christine, 9)

WHAT MOST PEOPLE ARE THINKING WHEN THEY SAY "I LOVE YOU"
"The person is thinking: Yeah, I really do love him. But I hope he showers at least once a day." (Michelle, 9)

HOW A PERSON LEARNS TO KISS
"You learn it right on the spot when the gooshy feelings get the best of you." (Doug, 7)

"It might help to watch soap operas all day." (Carin, 9)

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
"It's never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you...That's why I stopped doing it." (Jean, 10)

HOW TO MAKE LOVE ENDURE
"Don't forget your wife's name...That will mess up the love." (Roger,8)

"Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash." (Randy, 8)

Access_public Access: Public 18 Comments Print views (1,543)  
Tagged with: funny, humor, proverbs, zaadz, kids, laugh, blogs
MsCapriKell : Essential Wellness Consultant
17 minutes later
MsCapriKell said

absolutely adorable!  *laughing*

Shelly  : Petrepreneur- Pay It Forward Pets
about 1 hour later
Shelly said
Don’t you just love when you laugh so hard your stomach hurts? Thank you for that. :-)
Jessica : The Evolutionary Connector - Gaia
about 3 hours later
Jessica said

Oh! Thank you so much! I’d like to spend the rest of the week laughing this way. 

Brian : PhilosophersNotes.com
about 7 hours later
Brian said

Hilarious. :)

Verity : Live Dreams
about 23 hours later
Verity said

Out of the mouths of babes! Thanks for sharing those magic comments. Kids really ‘get’ it don’t they!

Kelli  : Butterfly
1 day later
Kelli said
That was so great…I’m still laughing…thank you.  Children’s simplicity is always so refreshing to me…we can learn so much from them.
mona : nobody
1 day later
mona said
World can be a beautiful place for us If we can look at  it like children!  
Nomali : IntegralSpiritualChocolate
1 day later
Nomali said

I love love love these! 

especially this one - ”

“I think you’re supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn’t supposed to be so painful.” (Harlen, 8)”

Poor kid. he’ll find out soon enough that the arrow is the least painful!

Yuri : Dharma girl
4 days later
Yuri said

Kids are comical when we do not expect it. The knowledge they possess are amazing. Their vocabulary is way higher than when I was in elementary.

Robin : Human
4 days later
Robin said

Ohhh, too funny!  I needed that.  And just in time for Valentine’s Day.  *Smile* : )

jacqui : Seeker of True Heart
4 days later
jacqui said
Thank you for posting this.  Light hearted posts are always welcome.  I dont realize how many serious things I must read in a day.

the funny thing is that the children are right.  I love being reminded that there is a simplier and more pure perspective that children usually view the world through.  I hope to practice that within myself more. 

Thank you.
4 days later
Bethany said

BWAHAHAHAHA!!
*hugs*
b-train

A Truth Seeker : A Truth Seeker
7 days later
A Truth Seeker said

Kids are the BEST!

I’m going to take these same questions and pose them to my daughter…I’m quite curious as to what responses I’m going to get  :-)

I’ll be sure to blog them…

Thanks for the inspiration~

Wil : unEYEr1
7 days later
Wil said

Art Linkletter….got tons of ratings on what came out of kids mouths…

Butterfly : Breakthrough Coach
8 days later
Butterfly said

I love it!! After the day I have had I did not think I could laugh and smile like this!! I could spend all month reading things like this, I love what the youth of this planet bring us.

yeshe : imaginal cell
9 days later
yeshe said

Thank you my friend! I have two and they are terrifyingly insightful. When my daughter was four years old I started meditating. One morning she came up behind me as I was sitting and piped in my ear: “Mummy, are you tedimating?” Needless to say, it stuck and I’ve been mating teddies ever since.

Brian : PhilosophersNotes.com
9 days later
Brian said

*laughing laughing laughing*

“tedimating,” huh? Hilarious.

Joy : fluid, shapeless
about 1 month later
Joy said

this is real fun…
Thank You dAviDD for starting this chain of laughter:))

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