Describe yourself from another's point of view.

It's very interesting to think about all of the different ways that we are perceived. We can look like a completely different person from one person to the next. So much of it depends on circumstance, timing, mood, relationship, their perspective, etc.. This question really makes you wonder who you are at the core.... because even your own perception of who you are is just that, a perception. If I look at myself one way, and 85% of the people I run into look at me another way, who's right? It's all subjective eh?

Ultimately, I think I've probably been described in just about every way possible at one point or another. Well, hopefully not every way. My aim is that people see me as a caring, open, fun loving, interesting, happy, centered, hard working, semi-intelligent individual. On a good day, hopefully I'm at least a few of those things. On a bad day, you'd probably hear something more like; that selfish, disconnected, foul smelling, loud mouthed, inconsiderate so and so.... :)

My ideal description, from another's point of view, is summed up in an email that I received just the other day from my girlfriend Beth. With her permission, I'm posting it below. This is one of the most amazing emails I've ever received. It touched me deeply and obviously gives me a good idea of what she thinks of me and our relationship. But what I realize most from this email is just how amazing she is. It shows me just how thoughtful, caring, beautiful, open, and honest she really is. I am a very lucky guy and yes, she was describing me on a very very good day (to say the least). She makes me want to be the man that she sees in me. I'm trying hard!

Hello My Sweet Love,

As I was driving home today I was overcome with joy and a sense of gratitude for you and your presence in my life.  I know I can be a bit hard on you sometimes, with my sensitivity and also my moods - which we could re-frame David Deida-style as my tendency to settle for nothing less than your deepest presence in every moment.  :-)  I know this can be exhausting, but at the same time I truly feel it is something so beautiful between us.  I do see this dynamic as an archetypal play of masculine and feminine energies in manifest form, existing beyond the personal, that has the power to evolve and open both of us to new frontiers in our growth if we embrace the challenge.  And I appreciate it so very much that you embrace and engage this challenge as I do!! 

I see it as such a rare and amazing gift to feel so connected to you that I am automatically tuned in to (and affected by) the subtle vibrations of your heart and the depth of your presence from moment to moment, and that you feel so connected to me that you are acutely aware of (and affected by) every subtle fluctuation in my mood and shift of my energy - loving it when I smile and shine, and not-so-much-loving-it when you experience me as sad or less-than-engaged and radiant (to put it nicely).  While this is sometimes experienced by both of us as a pain in the ass, it is also such an opportunity for growth and opening that we share by virtue of our soul connection.  In a certain way we are both mirrors and barometers for each other, and our growth can be symbiotic through the challenges and triumphs of our relationship.  And perhaps the greatest gift of all:  I believe that the more energetically connected we are as we grow and deepen together, the more access we will have to directly share in each other's strengths (at their essence, your deep presence and unshakable strength and direction, and my openness  and radiant connection to love).  Like it or not (and I almost always do), you are my Shiva, and I am your Shakti (and your wrathful Kali when you are giving me less than your best).  (Sorry, but that's my job!)  :-)

I worship you and your gifts to me.  I love to laugh and be silly with you every bit as much as I love to passionately engage with you (both intellectually and sexually), and I love to just be still with you as well.  Strangely, I am even beginning to love the freedom to express anger and disappointment with you (although I usually don't appreciate this until after the storm).  I know this has something to do with the fact that, more and more, I am (finally) starting to feel much safer with you and more trusting in the depth of our love and commitment to each other.  I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you say, do and ARE that is helping me to relax and release my fears (which is probably the only time real growth can start to happen).  Among other things, in particular I am filled with gratitude for your ability to create a safe space for me to acknowledge, express and experience parts of myself that I formerly kept in shadow. 

I want more than anything to do the same for you.  I want to care for you, be there for you, love you and hold you, share your joys and disappointments, experience life with you in every way.....  I truly feel you as my partner, my lover and my consort (which I didn't even know what that meant until I read Welwood).  When I was driving home and thinking about how amazing you are and how deeply lucky and blessed I feel to be with you, I was reminded of a list that I created a long time ago - sometime after ____ and I split up - in which I listed all the qualities I hoped to someday find in a man (I was trying to clarify my intentions for relationship).  I am copying the list below to the best that I can recall it.  While no human being could possibly exhibit all these qualities in every moment (it is no short order, as you will see) I am absolutely blown away by how deeply you embody virtually EVERYTHING I wanted in a partner.  So, when you have the feeling that I am annoyed by you or you question why I am with you, just remember this - YOU ARE TRULY MY DREAM MAN IN EVERY WAY!!!!!!!!!!

Beth's Dream Man (aka, David Carl Pearson) is.....

• intelligent and curious
• oriented toward growth and learning
• spiritual
• open (in heart and in mind)
• loving
• good-looking and sexy (I'm not totally enlightened yet, in case you didn't know)
• passionate
• principled
• friendly and outgoing
• fun-loving and funny - loves to laugh - but also a deep thinker who loves to engage ideas and discussion
• warm and affectionate
• adventurous spirit
• playful
• generous and thoughtful
• flexible - not rigid
• loves to travel and experience new places
• a leader I can look up to (yet open to advice and learning from others)
• confident and assertive, yet humble and not over-bearing (not a cocky know-it-all)
• honest and loyal
• thrives on challenge
• ethical and compassionate
• responsible - someone I can count on
• easy-going
• energetic - zest for life
• has a sense of gratitude and appreciation for life and its gifts
• not naive but not cynical - positive outlook
• sensitive and caring, yet distinctly masculine and strong
• cares about my feelings and helps me not to take myself too seriously
• supportive
• kind
• protective (but not overly) and chivalrous
• treasures me and my feminine qualities - makes me shine
• honors and appreciates me and the relationship
• inspires me and helps me to grow - someone worthy of my respect and admiration
• I become a better person through his influence

Baby, I could not imagine anyone more wonderful than you.  So, when you have the feeling that I am annoyed by you, just remember this - YOU ARE TRULY MY DREAM MAN IN EVERY WAY!!!!!!!!!!

Sooooooooooooo much love from the bottom of my heart and soul,
Beth (Your Shakti Girl)