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division
December 2008 
Real Growth
Posted on Dec 6th, 2008
by 
David
David
I've been thinking a lot about growth lately and have noticed that I often tend to focus on the areas in my life that I'm already comfortable with and have the predisposition for. If I'm not careful, I tend to build on this current model which can greatly limit the possibilities. I have noticed though, that when I break out of this paradigm and try to dive into areas that I'm not nearly as comfortable with, things change dramatically and I experience a completely new and more expansive type of growth.
One of the most apparent examples for me is in relationship with the feminine. I have to admit that it can be really hard at times to relate with interactions based more on feeling than on intellect. Apparently I've built up a few walls. ;) I have to say though that I do find that when I let go of what I'm clinging to and open up to another side of the equation and really try to understand, that there is a huge shift and my world becomes much more open in completely different type of way. This isn't always easy... but that's the point! I feel that real growth often happens when we step onto the shaky ground rather than the solid ground that we're most comfortable on.
Of course there are many examples to choose from and they will obviously differ from person to person but we all know when they come up. I think we all share the same indicator... our bodies, right? They always let us know when something is threatening our current point of view... and it's usually pretty strong to say the least. Usually we defend this reaction rather than realizing that it's an indication that we've just stumbled upon an aspect of ourselves which is least evolved. It's rather strange!
When I work on simply defending/supporting my current perspective and on proving that other perspectives aren't as important, not only do I remain pretty much stagnant, I also create division with others, which I believe is one of the larger issues we face here on planet earth. In my opinion, true "intelligence" (and I use that term broadly) isn't in our ability to prove how our opinions are correct and other perspectives aren't, it's actually in our ability to put ourselves in others shoes and really understand their perspective (whether we agree with it or not). This is so much harder if you ask me, but wow, there's so much more opportunity for deeper bonds with others and tremendous expansion in ourselves.
I believe that for us to truly create a sustainable world in which we can all live, we must continually strive to expand our frame of reference (aka the collected patterns that make up who we are) so that we can truly understand and have empathy for others, their experience and perspectives.
To me, this is real growth.
One of the most apparent examples for me is in relationship with the feminine. I have to admit that it can be really hard at times to relate with interactions based more on feeling than on intellect. Apparently I've built up a few walls. ;) I have to say though that I do find that when I let go of what I'm clinging to and open up to another side of the equation and really try to understand, that there is a huge shift and my world becomes much more open in completely different type of way. This isn't always easy... but that's the point! I feel that real growth often happens when we step onto the shaky ground rather than the solid ground that we're most comfortable on.
Of course there are many examples to choose from and they will obviously differ from person to person but we all know when they come up. I think we all share the same indicator... our bodies, right? They always let us know when something is threatening our current point of view... and it's usually pretty strong to say the least. Usually we defend this reaction rather than realizing that it's an indication that we've just stumbled upon an aspect of ourselves which is least evolved. It's rather strange!
When I work on simply defending/supporting my current perspective and on proving that other perspectives aren't as important, not only do I remain pretty much stagnant, I also create division with others, which I believe is one of the larger issues we face here on planet earth. In my opinion, true "intelligence" (and I use that term broadly) isn't in our ability to prove how our opinions are correct and other perspectives aren't, it's actually in our ability to put ourselves in others shoes and really understand their perspective (whether we agree with it or not). This is so much harder if you ask me, but wow, there's so much more opportunity for deeper bonds with others and tremendous expansion in ourselves.
I believe that for us to truly create a sustainable world in which we can all live, we must continually strive to expand our frame of reference (aka the collected patterns that make up who we are) so that we can truly understand and have empathy for others, their experience and perspectives.
To me, this is real growth.
***
"A mind that doesn't question its judgments, makes the world very small and dangerous."
~Byron Katie
Access: PublicTagged with: growth, relationship, shift, patterns, perspective, peace, expansion, real growth, division
I *just* had this topic touched in a clairvoyant reading for me today and I couldn’t agree more… it’s when we are expanding our comfort zone that we grow intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. Expanding and allowing more into that “zone” changes one’s energetic make-up… it’s exciting when you really see it happening, too. It becomes natural to respond with a compassionate perspective to fellow journey-travelers!
Exactly! We literally transcend (and include of course) the current version of ourselves and become something new… something that can hold more… something larger. As we let go of the current perspective that we’re identified with, we take a step forward. It seems paradoxical but we actually grow as we surrender. Thanks MsC!
Yeah you nailed it again David. Surrender is key. Self acceptance is huge in this growth idea. When you really accept and surrender to who you are and how you are, BOOM, you’ll change…you will grow. It is paradoxical until you really accept, really surrender. It’s a lack of self acceptance and resistance to self that keeps us (me) stuck in the same groove (spiral). One is not likely to move out of comfort zones and expand if one is not in some kind of surrender.
Intelligence, as I see it, is something that moves through us when we are rather open and available in the moment. The rest is cleverness and conditioning, which have their uses, but aren’t necessarily intelligent. Acceptance moves you into the realm of intelligence. Being self accepting of a less than favorable trait or behavior opens you to the intelligent possibility of changing, evolving.
A sustainable world really means individuals who are self sustaining and healthy and that filters out into collectives, culture, and the world at large. Wouldn’t you agree? Personally I believe the frame of reference is always within. I have to strive to find the commonality and unity within myself before I will exhibit it or even see in the world.
Super post…
Love One Another
D-friend! You’re equating empathy & understanding with intelligence. Ahh! You hit it dead on. You also identify something that, over time, seems to be very clear to me…we potentially cause the problems we think are caused by others by having self-justifying reactions and preconceived truths that prevent us from seeing the world clearly. The resolution for this is, as you said so wonderfully, we must “continually strive to expand our frame of reference”. Fantastic! Thank you for sharing my friend. Big hug!
Pearson!! Yeah! Thanks for sharing that!! NICE!!
Graham!! Nice commentary dude!
YEAH!!!!!!!! I couldn’t agree MORE!
Lovin it.
Nice insight! Here’s to growth in all directions… :)